once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
