Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
