Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
