So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
