Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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