We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
