I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
