Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
