Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
