Sry I called you an 8
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize