yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
