So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
