One girl and one boy is just not enough.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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