The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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