I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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