I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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