Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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