she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
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