why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
