Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
