TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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