Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she woke up with a sticky ear
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
