how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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