hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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