You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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