I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
