We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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