Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
