are you still at the devil's house?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
