he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
