i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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