Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize