I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
