My girlfriend figured out who you are.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
