OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize