i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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