ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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