there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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