i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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