im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
