Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Hippo gnu deer
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize