I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
