i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
