Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
