Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
