I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
