i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How external is "for external use only"?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
there is glitter all over my balls
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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