did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
