Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
