I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
