I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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