what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Please, let me fuck your mom
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
