Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
