Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
