I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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