remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
