The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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