I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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