but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
