Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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