Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
