Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
