Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I love you. Go after that dick
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize