i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
should my penis look like a turkey
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
