we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
