im holly from the hills drunk
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
