Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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