oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
