No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
