8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm getting married
To pizza
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
