Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
