Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
